Tag Archive | Life

This Time

May4
Gift Box

Gift Box (Photo credit: Ken’s Oven)

There is a box marked “past”.

I keep it tucked away.

the lid is closed

but sometimes I take it out

unwrap the pretty bow

and look inside at the things

I saved for a rainy day.

things that are precious to me

conversations and pictures

memories and mistakes

those that are no longer a part of my life

it is my glimpse into an altered reality

and another life

that might have been mine

this time

so long ago.

There is a box marked “today”

It contains things tangible

easy to touch

never heavy or painful

things that only bring peace

purpose, commitment, laughter and right now

It is my life

There are those that share in it

friendships and love

a simple place of no regret

the box is kept out in the open for all to see,

rummage through and contribute.

There is no lid – the box always open

I am comfortable here and free to be me

I am grounded

firmly planted in reality

It is where I can stay.

this time

There is a box marked “future”

It is the scary unknown

the one that is still unwritten

things I do today will greatly affect this box

that is hidden from me

It will contain my hopes, thoughts and prayers

and things I do or don’t do today

I don’t want to make mistakes

like the many in my “past” box

full of regrets, love lost and wrong people

that box is full and has to be kept shut

by an act of my will

This future box is empty

has no mistakes or regrets in it

it is the beginning of a clean slate

for a meaningful existence today

a poured out life

spent in service for others

honoring to God

a time to be happy

to be all I was created to be

with no regrets

only love

this time

Lamplight Lane

Apr13

thomask

It is almost dark.

A sweet dusk has descended.

The sky is pinkish, blue and gray.

The walkway lamps are lit.

I feel the cobblestone beneath my feet – hear the uneven surety of my steps.

I smell the blossoms on the many plants in full bloom, the trees are fragrant as they hang there unaware of how beautiful they are.

This is my favorite time of the day.

It is my walk time.  My time to be with you.

This is the time when I reflect, pause and drink it in.

I have a prayer on my lips and thoughts in my mind.

We have walked this path many times before – you and I – and I know we shall walk it again.

It is at these times when I feel the surrounding canvas of your creation come alive and you speaking to me.

I have many questions in my prayers.  It is here that I ask them.

I make firm resolves, I argue, I reason – and all the while I feel you with me.

My resolves are laughable – you know me so well

I reason that you have designed me and understand my many jumbled up emotions.

I argue with why things have to be the way they are.

And finally I am resigned to ask the questions anyway – even though you do not always answer.

In the beauty of this evening I feel your promise of many more just like this one.

And I drink it in – all of it.

I feel your grace in my life – things I do not deserve.

Those things you have allowed into my life, and those you have protected me from

And I am grateful – too full to speak

My footsteps are the only sound I hear as I walk along.

I am not alone.

Oh – the thought of it!

The Creator of this wonderful lamplight lane is walking with me.

Keep Me In Your Heart

Apr3

I had actually planned on posting another song today.  Then I was returning emails and checking messages at my computer and this song came on  my Spotify music list.  It was the song they played at the end of the “House” series.  For some reason it really speaks to me.  And I can’t get away from it.

Spotify Logo

Spotify Logo (Photo credit: Dekuwa)

Music sometimes does that to me.  I have something else going on and then am stopped dead in my tracks.  Maybe it’s because of things going on right now.  Maybe it’s because life throws some strange curve balls.  Maybe it’s because each new day brings new revelations and surprises.  I  think I am in control and then find that I have no control.  Circumstances come in to literally rock my world as they also sound strangely familiar.  A shadow of the past coming and staring straight at me.

 

In times like this I am humbled and thankful.  Humbled because I don’t deserve the grace and forgiveness of a great and wonderful God.  Thankful that in spite of the many mistakes and wrong turns I have made in the past I was able to right my path and live in victory.  I am surrounded by many loving people to encourage me in my life’s purpose and calling.  I am grateful.

 

But I realize that there are those not fully there yet.  They have their own journey to take and discover.  Things coming in to rock their world.  It is hard to see people take wrong turns and spin out of control.   We are all capable of  doing this from time to time.  Spin, justify, retreat, reason, ponder, turn, let go, go our own way.

 

This song is a song about a man dying.  Written and sung by Warren Zevon, I believe he realized his life as he ponders death.  What is really important.  The things he really loves.  A man who does not want to be forgotten.  Wants to know that his life mattered.   When it comes right down to it – don’t we all want this?  To be remembered, to have mattered.  Our actions we took in this life will mean something to us someday as we face our mortality.  Those things we thought were so important, worth fighting for, things we gave up, none of it will matter someday.  It is a sobering thought.  What is so important?  Is it really worth the spin?  Will people want to remember you when you’re gone?

It is a sobering thought.  Someday my actions will be called in to recall by those left behind.  I don’t know about you – but I want to be able to say “remember me” and when people do – they will have a good positive memory of my life and what I was called to do.

I wish the same for you.

Enjoy this song and the great lyrics.  May you ponder the same thing today and if you need to – make a change.

The Wind (album)

The Wind (album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

God Bless

 

 

 

 

November Wind

Nov1

something missing

but cleanly restored

swept away

no untidy remnants

drifted away

just a thought

nothing more

an idea when pressed

is only distortion

not complete

fueled by false

selective memory

and personal reality

meaning nothing

missing something

just what

I don’t know

what seemed real

now I know was not

yet missing it

has become

my reality

where is that truth

seen through my limited scope

it has become

a true false

without regard

or notice

blown away

bitter and cold

without remorse

sometimes sunshine

and laughter

but mostly

eternal rain

and confusion

past all reason

and time

like the November wind

How’s Your Garden?

Aug13

The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring
whose waters never fail.
Isaiah 58:11

This is our garden in our new home.

Ever felt really dry?  I’m so glad to know this:  No matter how dry, sick, diseased, tired, hopeless and out of strength I may be today – He will water me and give me the strength, nourishment and life so that I will flourish.  When all others around me are dry and broken – I will be sustained by that living water to keep me going, bringing health to my bones – and hope for all others around me looking for that water.  It is a spring that never fails.

How’s your garden?  Need some water?

Praying for you today.

God Bless

Related articles

New Dream

Aug2
dreams and wishes. 62/365

Image by nicole.pierce.photography ♥ via Flickr

I looked for someone

like searching in a fog

chasing after

an endless mist

straining for

that unattainable someone

or something

thinking that it would satisfy

what’s deep within

heart-sick and weary

all my efforts

came up empty

and my searching

and reaching

brought no relief

for I found

that in the searching

it was me that I found instead

alone and empty

sad and confused

“Is what I seek

my dream only?

never satisfied

why do

I continue to pursue?

Are my “dreams” just those I make up

bringing emptiness

and endless struggle

instead of fulfillment

and relief?”

And yet I searched for you

my unobtainable someone

and something

that threatened to destroy

and devour me

The one I craved

the things I craved

could be my undoing

and the searching

and dreaming for them

like a slow death

And at the end of the road

I was still there

running on empty

defeated and broken…

It was when I was at my weakest

and tired of running after

and insisting on my own way

that He came

and I heard

a still small voice

and in my confusion

and tears

which caused me to slow down

be still

and listen

that I heard Him

that voice changed me

as He reached in

and held the broken

and confused me

and finally I don’t need to know

all the reasons for before

I reluctantly surrender

and replace

all the running

and searching

for something unknown

instead of something

that does not satisfy

and begin a new path

with His dreams

and plans for me

and at the end of the road

there is no disappointment

and emptiness

or brokenness

and I have almost 

vanished from view

even though

my selfishness and pride

are still there

but they are covered

and kept in check

and it is He that is waiting

giving me

a new dream

which fulfills

and satisfies

instead of

all the things

I wanted

and thought I needed

He is giving me

much more

than I could ever dream

as He replaces my will

with new people

new things

and a new dream

 

What is your dream today?  Have you surrendered yours for His?

 

God Bless

 

 

Blessings

Jun22

I was introduced to this song yesterday by one of my voice students, Taylor Smith.  Laura Story is the writer and singer in this video – and she reminds me very much of  the way Cindy Morgan writes and expresses herself in her lyrics.

I found the story behind this song here.  She wrote this song because early in her marriage her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  And since then – together they have had quite a journey of healing and understanding of God’s grace and purpose through the pain.

I was encouraged by what she had to say about challenges and set-backs.  Sometimes the answer in our life in “No” – and sometimes God leaves us broken so His will can be accomplished in us.  Powerful words.

How do you deal with set-backs?

Can you see the “Blessings” through the pain in your own life?

When was the last time God said “No” to you – and left you broken to accomplish something through you?

 

Enjoy and God Bless

My Hiding Place…

Jun7
hiding

Image by Susan NYC via Flickr

The following is an article I posted 2 years ago this month.  I was still trying to make sense out of a situation that still makes no sense 2 years later – and at that time I was still thinking that it would.  Instead – 2 years later I now know that time isn’t always an accurate measurement of understanding – nor is it a rite of passage.  It is simply a journey we all must take – and what we do with the lessons along the way determines our joy or sorrow for the future.  If you are like me and have had setbacks in your life – or things happen that you did not fully understand – have ever questioned God or felt like you didn’t deserve things that transpired at the hand of another – then you will know what I felt like when I wrote this article.  My prayer is that it will bless and encourage your heart today. 
Have you ever felt like you needed a “Hiding Place”? 
What event in your past changed the way you look at life now?
 Habakkuk 3:19
“The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights. For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.”
 
When I read the above scripture – I was moved.  I am a musician and have the heart and soul of an artist.  I am also told I am a “sanguine” deep and emotional – and while I can be the life of the party, I prefer being alone or being with a close friend – am very sentimental and easily wounded and sensitive.   I have always understood that I view the world a little differently than others do.  I am an “audio” learner – and even more – my friend John recently corrected me – I am a “kinesthetic” learner – which means I not only hear the music – but I get inside of it and breathe it in – and wrap it around me like a blanket and it becomes a part of me.
So the psalms and other scriptures about music and musicians really speak to me.  David was also a musician and I love the poetic way in which he writes – and many of the psalms were set to music back then – and even today we are still doing this.  There is something about the “artist” who is able to put the right spin on words to express and communicate a thought and paint a beautiful picture.  David really felt what he wrote and expressed – was deeply hurt, moved and lived life to the fullest.  I can appreciate his take on his journey through good and bad times – how he cried out to God and how sometimes he was just lost and didn’t know if God really heard - or cared.  I believe that even though he sometimes didn’t understand – he had a habit of going to God and pouring his heart out.  He knew where his safe “hiding place” was – away from the world of betrayal and hurt – away from his enemies who tried to destroy him – away from the prying eyes of those who would later come to judge him for his sin.
I have found a safe place in God’s presence – it is a place where I go to regain my sanity amidst a world gone mad – friends who are not friends anymore – and those who would judge my heart without knowing my heart.  And I find new purpose and resolve after being in this “hiding place” of mine.  And I find that I can make it after all.
Below is a beautiful music video based on a favorite Psalm of mine.  Enjoy – and allow God’s sweet spirit to penetrate into your secret “hiding place”  Allow Him to be that for you today.  He is trustworthy and dependable.  He will keep you safe.
God Bless

Color in Seattle – Drinking it IN!!

Jun3
Callistemon citrinus flowers.

Image via Wikipedia

I was out for a walk today and noticed the brilliant colors of flowers on trees and bushes.  I also noticed something peculiar.   Healthy bushes next to dead ones.   Life and death right next to each other.  A beautiful and healthy bush  – full and lush with bright flowers in abundance – next to a withered up and dead plant.  Why was one alive and thriving – and the other one in the same yard, dead?  It didn’t make any sense to me.  I came across other dead looking bushes around the neighborhood and was surprised to  see that these were not just in an abandoned or neglected yard – but also in ones that were meticulously cared for.  Sometimes there is nothing really wrong.  Sometimes it just is what it is.  It’s the circle – a time for life and a time for death.

It was a puzzle for me.  Life is a little like this – life next to death – color next to black and white.  Openness next to closed and shut up.  A heart with a song – a life with no meaning.  Some people flourish and bloom where they are planted – others stop living, wither up and die.  And like in nature sometimes it is because there was not enough nourishment to the roots – or reason to live – sometimes it was just because it was the time to die.

Is there a time when death can become life?  New from old?   How did it change you?  Is there time to let something or someone go?  Have you ever had to do this in your own life?

Below is a little slideshow of some of the beauty in my neighborhood as I walked along.  I’m taking you along on my walk today – sharing a little of this with you.

Enjoy the color of Seattle – drink it in.

God Bless

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