Working through the clutter

of another day

my busy mind

filling empty spaces

of unresolved conflict

put aside for another time

a time of never

Endless wandering

and straining

caught between justification

and resolution

More of me

Less of me

Coming alive in need

Being dead to want

The line that is held

and forgotten

Forced to a reckoning

where reason and intellect

have no place

A place of surrender

where God can speak

and be heard

a quiet whisper

in the dark

I am all questions

He is all-knowing

He understands

He gets

my need to know

and yet often withholds

Silently challenging me

confident in the love

that holds me

Knowing that even though

I struggle

I will once again

learn to lean

learn to trust

learn to accept

those things

which have proven

not acceptable

not trustworthy

not safe

And I will find another way through

another road to take

another way to forget

things I cannot leave

or stop wondering about

Am I the only one

who struggles with things

unexplained

and wrestles in the dark

with myself

my feelings

and things I cannot hide?

Will there ever come a time

where I can rest

not question

accept

and not fight

put aside my feelings

and just

trust?

As I put aside the clutter

for this one day

and learn to focus on You

I invite you to clean out

the corners of my mind

and throw away

those things not helpful

or useful

and fill every corner

with your presence.

I need more of you.

Amen