Musings From A Musical Mind

Tears? Who Needs Them?

Tear system: a. tear gland / lacrimal gland, b...

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The other night I had a complete and total emotional melt-down.  I’m not proud of it – I’m just admitting it.  I’m real.  I have those kinds of days too.  I don’t always handle everything the right way with grace and dignity.  Unfortunately this was not a melt down due to a bad day – it was…just because.

I don’t know why it feels uncomfortable to admit that I cry and have melt-downs once in a while.  Or that I ever have a bad day.  I’m not sure why I have it in my memory bank that it’s right to always paint on a smile – hold it in – ALWAYS think positively and for GOODNESS SAKES don’t admit I’m having a struggle.  In a perfect world where people respond correctly and friends don’t act weird or people make me feel stupid and there is never a problem, then I guess I could suck it up.  But it’s not very accurate – at least in my life and in the end – by pretending that everything is just ‘peachy’ – it only makes other people feel like complete losers when they themselves are walking through a hard season – or even just a bad day.  What if they push me away because I am ‘so perfect’ at least from all appearances – and I don’t have ANY problems?

But the truth is – that I DO have problems and struggles.  And I am a crier. A really emotional crier.  I can’t seem to watch anything sad or sentimental without crying – or at least tearing up a little.

Tears are funny.  They happen when I least expect them.  Sometimes it’s a memory  triggered by normal things like music – or something I read – or something someone says.  And sometimes there is no reason for them at all and I am helpless to stop them.  Oh I’m not talking about the ‘tearing up’ because of happiness or hurt – I’m talking about REALLY CRYING.

Crying DOES release something inside.  Frustration, sadness, helplessness, resignation, fear, rejection, bitterness, anger and many other emotions.  It’s nature’s way of getting it out.  I’ve been told that they are even therapeutic. But for me – there is a high price for tears.  I don’t mean just tears.  But the tears that have a little extra.  You know what I mean – the throat constricts and the sobs come up from a deep place and pretty soon my makeup is all over my face in all the wrong places – my nose is dripping and I can’t breathe.  It’s a joyous experience. Welcome to my puffy world.

However – I’m thinking there just HAS to be another way to release frustration and emotion.  One that doesn’t leave a headache and puffy eyes.  One that doesn’t rob me of sleep and make me feel all icky.  This last ‘break-down’ cost me a whole day – and who has time for that with a busy schedule?  NOT ME.

Greg tells me that I just need to hit something.  Really hard.  In fact he rarely cries – most men are like this – they would rather hit things or do something physical to ‘get it out’.  And they don’t get headaches.  I’m starting to think that maybe they have the right idea.  No kidding.  Greg told me just today that he’s going to give me a big bat and then I’m supposed to count to ten and then start swinging.  The counting to ten is so that he can get out-of-the-way.  I can see this – Greg with eyes WIDE open while running for his life!  He is quite safe – no worries.  But he knows that I would feel better if I could just hit something – or someone really hard on the head :)

Tears.  Stupid tears.  Who needs them?

I guess I do.

:)

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Comments on: "Tears? Who Needs Them?" (15)

  1. Susan Eibey said:

    Cindy, I loved reading your blog. I have fought crying forever. For me crying would be worse then death. If I couldn’t avoid it I would cry in the shower in the morning for a really good 2 minutes and that was all I would allow myself. But if you have seen me this past year, chances are you saw me crying. At church if you didn’t know me you would say, wow! She’s really lost it! And if you do know me, you’d say WoW! She’s Really Lost It! God has shown me so much about myself this past year. It’s really ok to cry, it’s a release. It’s a God given emotion. I too am allowed these emotions. I do have to remember to take my contacts out too, and then ice my eye’s. Why can’t tears reduce wrinkles and soften skin?

    • I agree! Reduce wrinkles and soften skin! Someone needs to bottle this and market it! Imagine – our own little beauty secret we already possess!

      I too, have been a shower crier. 2 years ago I had a heartbreak and loss of a friend. I’m not sure I will ever get over it. Crying in the shower seemed to help a little – Mom can’t be crying all the time – it just wouldn’t work – and I’m not sure my family and students would understand. The year before that my friend lost her husband to cancer – so it was a very sad and emotional couple of years for me.

      People know me as the ‘crier’ too, Susie – you’re not alone BELIEVE ME! We shall have each other to cry with!! Thanks for your wonderful and encouraging comment – I appreciate it!

  2. I think God made men and women differently. Men are not as emotional as women are. I don’t think we can change and I’m not sure we should. I do agree about the headaches and puffy eyes though. lol

  3. Cindy, I hate when I get pushed over the edge and then there is no hope for coming back to balance quickly. I have those moments when I lose it. I try not to go to that place, but my husband sometimes pushes me. I am a very strong person and he is a chronic teaser. When I lose it, I cry ==then there is the after……I feel embarrassed that I didn’t control all the words, emotions, etc….but it does pass and I am back in balance with not trusting in the arm of man but all hope and trust in the Lord, knowing that our footsteps are ordered by Him, and He gets us through the circumstances Trusting in Him is the balance. Believe me when I say that I have experienced some hard things in life. I keep remembering the days we spent and the special meaning they had. We were so young back then and it did and it didn’t get better. Don’t misunderstand, I am in a very good place right now. I understand I am right where
    God wants me to be. It is not easy walking out in the natural, but we have to keep the spiritual walk over the natural walk and be real in it.

  4. One more crier here. And sometimes, I’m a hysterical crier. I know exactly what you mean about the nose running, the makeup all over the face, you can’t breathe. . . such an attractive picture, eh? LOL I think crying IS therapeutic and you may be able to start swinging with that bat and hit something, but I’m betting you will STILL cry, Cindy. Men and women are simply wired differently. And some do cry. Trust me on this one. There’s also that nasty M-word. . . menopause. I’m so thankful to be through it, but you may be into it or starting into it. It only heightens the tear response. Regardless, I feel women need to cry. Men need to hit something. And occasionally, we may swap needs.

    • Yeah – well I was ALWAYS emotional – even as a teenager so I guess there’s not much hope for me at this precious season of my life! Yes – I think we need to swap with the men folk!!!

  5. Thank you for sharing your heart, Cindy. I understand. When I was a teenager, I once cried for three days. My mother was so worried that she sent me to a shrink. He told her I was fine and that I cried because I was sad. I think it’s just the way I am. When my heart is really burdened over something, I sob until I have no sob power left. Usually I am alone, but my husband has seen it a few times. He just stares helplessly not know what to do. Wishing I would stop. And I do, eventually.

  6. Oh Cindy, I’m so glad you wrote this post!! I was just thinking that your life was so perfect, it couldn’t be true. ;) Now I see that you’re human like the rest of us my dear friend, and even if it makes you less “Superwoman” in your own mind, to me you sound…..well human :)

  7. Cindy,

    I am an emotional crier as well. The last major meltdown, I cried so hard and forgot that my contact was in and rubbed my right eye until it turned red. The next day my good friend and I was driving to Hollywood for the taping of Dr. Phil. I glad she was driving because I could not see. I cry when I am happy, when I am sad,, and when I am praying in the spirit and thanking God for blessing me. So I am one of those people that everyone come to when they are having problems! So I am supposed to suck it up. Hey, I am a social worker by profession and I have even cried with some of my clients.(a big no no). I thank God for my tears they really get my humble and I truly feel better after a good cry. I just have to remember to take out my contact the next time. I am one of those wierd people that only need one contact!!!!! Remember that song, its my party and I will cry if I want to!!!!! Blessings to you!!!! I probably end of crying at my job interview on Monday! (Especially if they offer me the job)

    • I’m glad I’m NOT alone!! Thanks so much for the wonderful comment – I’m glad there are other people like me! My emotions get me into trouble – but I wouldn’t have it any other way to be tender and encouraging – loving and gracious – it’s the only way to live!

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