So – you’re walking through the mall – any mall really – doesn’t matter what city you’re in – and you are minding your own business, right? Window shopping down the middle of the big open area – gazing into shops and deciding if you want to go in. Looking for the nearest Starbucks. All of a sudden you’re approached – no – accosted by someone in one of the center kiosk’s. NO not the annoying cell phone people – they are really annoying. “I see that you have a cell phone – can I see it for a minute??” Uh – NO. Absolutely not. Why can’t they leave me alone. If I wanted to change providers – wouldn’t I be able to do that on my own without someone being particularly abrasive? I think so. After all – I’m not stupid – although walking past those people – I feel like it sometimes. I feel like I’m always saying, “No, No – NO!!!!” It feels really rude – and I’m not a rude person – but it’s like all they can understand!
Like I said before – you are approached by someone. The “manicure” people. At least that’s what we call them – for lack of a better name. You know the ones I mean – they BOLDLY come up to you and take your hand and start using this file on one of your nails before you can say, “Jiminy Cricket”. My husband came home from one of these “encounters” several months ago now – it has taken him this long to recover from the experience – it so tramatised him. He came into the house looking dazed and all the color was drained from his face – looked like he had seen a ghost. I was like, “what happened to you?” He proceeded to tell me that he had had a “forced” manicure at the mall. I was incredulous and tickled all at the same time – I mean – that’s insane really. I’d like to see someone try to give ME a “forced” anything! That made him laugh really hard – my point being – how exactly does one find themselves in a situation where someone can FORCE you to do something you don’t want to – at the mall? Well it was most comical – UNTIL…about a month ago I was at a mall in North Seattle wasting a couple of hours while Greg had a Memorial Service that he was leading. I bought a pair of sandals at Penny’s – found the Starbucks (I found that first :) ) and was happily going about my business walking down – you guessed it – the CENTER of the mall. Well I was quite innocently accosted by a nice young man with a very thick Israeli accent. He was very nice and was selling skin care products which he began to demonstrate on my hand – starting with the Dead Sea Salt Scrub. “Ooo see how soft your hands are?” He said in his thick accent. I did. It was nice. They were soft after all. He proceeded to show me the whole skin care line and it was all lovely – but I wasn’t going to buy anything. I told him “thank you very much for showing me” and began to walk away. Then he TURNED on me – did the Dr. Jekyll and Hyde routine – pretty creepy really – and as I repeated “No Thank you” he started to yell and draw attention to me – everyone started staring and wondering what the commotion was all about – it was really weird. He kept calling back – like a dog, “Come here, I said Come Here” Yeah. Like I’m going to do that. Yikes. How do these people make money – by embarrassing people? He doesn’t know who he’s dealing with, I thought to myself. It takes a lot more than that for me to be totally humiliated – I know of what I speak. I won’t go back to that mall for awhile.
So a few days before we left for Vegas – Greg and I were at our local mall down at Southcenter – drinking coffee and chatting – window shopping – nothing special and were reminiscing about our bad experiences with kiosk’s. He said he would never be forced again – and not even the Brazilian people will be able to make him have a “forced” Brazilian bikini wax. Well that sent me into fits of laughter – I almost spit out my coffee and everyone was staring at us wondering what could be so funny. We told our friend Mike about it on facebook and when we arrived in Vegas to see Mike and his wife Carmen – it became the standing joke of the next few days – that Mike and Greg were going to do “the male bonding” by having a Brazilian bikini wax. You had to be there. I still can’t stop laughing just getting my mind wrapped around the mental picture of someone “forcing” my dear husband IN THE MALL to do a bikini wax. It’s just too good.
Well I hope you have NOT had an experience like we have. And if you have – just remember – NO is a magic word – and it could be worse. They could have Brazilian bikini waxes down the center of the mall. Now wouldn’t that be a treat to see? I think we will all pass.